For me, it is not a "OMG what am I doing with my life" kind of thing either. I think I'm okay in that department. Anyway, I am not used to feeling this way. At all. Having just a slight taste of this down, blah, depressed feeling has given me more compassion for those who truly suffer with this all the time. You are my heroes, for real.
I guess the why of it all doesn't really matter as much as the how to stop it does. There are countless lists on this same topic so I'm not re-inventing the wheel here. Just thought I'd share what's been working for me over the past few days.
1. Share that shit! Tell other people how you feel and what's going on with you, honestly. Even if it's embarrassing or childish-who cares. A problem shared is, well, a problem shared. I shared this blah feeling with a friend of mine who helped me figure out what I used to do that kept me happy and vibrant.
2. Yoga. I need to do it. The mind-body-spirit connection is so vitally important to me that I get cranky and weird without a steady practice. I went to a yoga class last night and felt immediately better. Being in a room with other women and feeling their energy as we practice together is magical.
3. Get to some meetings. Every recovering person knows that going to meetings is where we hear the message of whichever fellowship you belong. I definitely do not want to drink alcohol again so last night I went to a meeting. Tomorrow I will go to another. Ad infinitum.
4. HELP SOMEONE ELSE. Getting out of my own head is necessary. I spend way to much time pondering how I don't feel like myself and why do I feel this way and oh this is terrible and blah-freakin'-blah-blah-blah. Stop and go help someone, anyone. I spend time each month with a group of women at a shelter in a nearby town. I sent an email and set up my monthly visits to them. (Aside: Here's a link to Beth's story. She is a resident at the shelter/home and one of the amazing women working to get her life back together.)
5. Go outside. I went onto my garden and began the task of cutting and trimming and moving things around in preparation for winter. Being in my garden is always therapeutic. Sushi lays nearby chewing a tennis ball and I get dirty. Ahhh!
Taking action helped me! On Sunday I was not feeling so great and by Tuesday morning things were looking up. As I write this right now I'm feeling like my happy, joyous, and free self and for that I'm very, very grateful.
