Wednesday, May 1, 2013

Just let it go!

URGH! How many times have I heard those words and wanted to strangle the person saying them to me? Quite a few is the answer. Just let that go, Amy.

The other day I was at a really cool luncheon sponsored by an organization called the Women & Girls Fund. Their purpose is to serve the women and girls of the area in which I live. (If you're interested in their organization, click here.) It was an honor to be included in this room of women and a few men, who are committed to helping other women and girls. It was inspiring, to say the least, and made me want to run out and do something to help! Anyway, there were flowers on the tables and we were encouraged to have one person at each table take them home. A woman at our table really wanted them and was trying to figure out how to take them without looking greedy or deserving. She and I were talking and she was about to take the flowers when an older lady at the table took them. The woman next to me, who really wanted the flowers, looked disappointed and so we turned to other tables to see if any other centerpieces were available. There were not. I turned to her, and just said, "Well I guess you have to let it go." She said, "You know what, you're so right! I'm over it." About five minutes later she came back with a centerpiece in her hands and said, "Look! I got one after all, it was on the sign-in table!"

It dawned on me that this was really simple example of letting go and then having something unexpected happen. I can totally dig this kind of letting go! I can do it, for the most part, without much fanfare. I seem to be able to let go of the outcome of situations fairly easily. I know that things will be okay and that worrying or projecting my fears into the situation will not help. I'm not always perfect, trust me, so sometimes this process takes time. I get disappointed or upset, annoyed, or even sad about having to let go of the outcome of a situation. But I can do it. What I have found is that things really do work out the way they are supposed to and much better than I could have ever expected. A friend of mine and I often say to one another, "Ohh, I wonder how this is going to work out?," with excitement and wonder!

You know what's really hard though? Letting go of another person's behavior or more specifically what I think their behavior ought to be!  I recognize this defect in myself and do my best to "Let it go!" Letting it go is HARD! Why can't everyone else just act right? Why can't everyone just act the way I think they ought to and then things would be grand? Why?

Because I'm not the center of the universe, that's why! I'm not in control.

The puzzling part is that there are times when I am able to do it, which makes it worse for the times that I am not. I have heard a million little sayings about this "letting go" business with relation to other people and they all make sense. Applying them to my particular issue is the problem. I guess those situations in which letting go comes easier are inspiration for me to keep working at it. Acceptance is the answer. I have to accept people exactly where they are at and not impose my expectations on them, regardless of whether those expectations are realistic or not. Grrr. 

This post has helped me over the last few days, check it out if you like!

40 Ways to Let Go and Feel Less Pain  

I heard a woman give a talk over the weekend and she used a hula hoop as a benchmark. Put a hula hoop around your body and whatever falls inside of that hoop is what you have control over, nothing else. That's enlightening, if not a bit sobering, right? So I guess that means I do not, after all, have control of my dog. Unless she's sitting on my lap.

I'll be over here, working on letting that go.

Sushi talking back to me.



  1. LOVE this post. I try to stay in my hula hoop at all times; I'm a recovering control freak so it can be tough! I have to ask myself "Does this have my name on it?" and if the answer is NO, I have to let it go. My husband starts college today. I am dying to call and wake him up to make sure that he gets on the computer for his class time, but that isn't in my hula hoop - this is HIS thing so I have to let it go. Let go or be dragged!!!

  2. Great post, Aim! Applies to kids, too. The urge to tell them how to do everything is strong, but you can't. I have a sticky note on my desk that reads LET IT GO in big bold letters. I don't want to be like my dad in that way.

  3. So, so true. Because I'm all-knowing and all-powerful. :D It's so hard ESPECIALLY with kids, as Cary said. I have to remind myself daily when dealing with my wonderfully headstrong daughter!

  4. Sushi Wasabi!!!! I love the hula-hoop reference... I'll borrow it but always and forever give you credit. Love you!

  5. Great post, Amy! There is so little that we have any real control over, you have to learn to let it go to keep your sanity about you. I am able to do it a lot better now than when I was younger. I think being able to let it go is something that gets better as time passes. The older you get the more practice you've had! :-)